To that 1 person who might read this

A rant surrounding that fact that I just want to be a little author

Are blogs even a thing anymore?

        I wish they were, because imagine how nice it would be. To have someone read what I have to say, and heck even get paid. Little fun fact about yours truly, I suffer from agroaphobia, yup, I hate leaving my house. Some days I cry because I just can't leave my house. I feel unsafe not being within my own walls. I see germs trying to infiltrate my body and end up having a panic attack within the library. So, it really would be a dream, to be able to make a living within my own home, doing what I truly love to do. Have all my thoughts regurgitate through my fingers far too aggressively tapping at my keyboard.

But it doesn't seem to be a thing. Or maybe I am not popular enough to get this blog off the ground? Maybe there is no market for my work, or maybe I am just truly terrible at writing.  

I was looking up 'remote jobs' to see what I will do in the future, and to my surprise 'blogging' was on every list I looked at. But who the heck is even making money from blogging anymore, and now follow my thoughts as we steer the conversation to influencers. Let me be clear, I very much DO NOT want to be an influencer. However, everyone else seems to want to be, the world is overly saturated with everyone portraying how their life is perfect and if you follow them yours will be too. That is not what I want to create. I want to be an author. I want to write poems and maybe even novels.

I want bookclubs to debate the meaning behind my words and I want my text to work as a coping skill for others. But how does one even become an author, a respected and well-known author. Because what I can tell, it is all knowing the right person, or just getting lucky. And I am in no state to know the right person or just get lucky. 

I kind of just wish there was a way, for someone to take my hand and guide me to the right way to live a life that seems to fill full all the aspects of my soul, but I guess everyone wants that don't we. Hence the popularity of 'life vloggers' all over my fucking social media.